


I'm Not That Girl

by honooko



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-07
Updated: 2012-01-07
Packaged: 2017-10-29 02:56:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/315060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honooko/pseuds/honooko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Complete genderswitch fic. Kazuko loves Tomoko a lot, but why on earth would Tomoko ever love her back?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not That Girl

**Author's Note:**

> All names are changed based on kanji; those with unisex names stayed the same. The kanji for 'Sho' can also be read as 'Yuki'; 'Satoshi' can be read as 'Tomo', and Nino ended with his mother's name.
> 
> Sakurai Yuki　桜井翔  
> Aiba Masaki　相葉雅紀  
> Matusmoto Jun　松本潤  
> Ohno Tomoko　大野智子  
> Ninomiya Kazuko　二宮和子

Jun had enough denim skirts to wear a different one every single day and not run out for over a month. Ninomiya Kazuko, Jun’s friend and sometimes accomplice, knew this for a fact because once when she’d slept over, she’d waited until Jun fell asleep before opening her closet and counting every single skirt inside.

"You have one of those already," Kazuko pointed out. Jun shook the skirt out and held it up to her waist speculatively.

"I do not," Jun said, tapping her almost-gaudy fingernails against the fabric.

"Yes you do," Kazuko answered, crossing her hands behind her head and looking as bored as humanly possible. "You have three. One has a cross on the back pocket in rhinestones, one’s a frayed hem mini, and one goes to your knees and tapers in."

"It’s called a pencil skirt," Jun responded blithely. "And this one has a kick pleat. The others don’t have kick pleats."

"I’m going to kick pleat your shins if you don’t pick something soon," Kazuko snapped back.

"The little boy’s section is over there; I’m sure you can find some jeans to fit you in there somewhere," Jun replied sweetly, clearly unmoved by Kazuko’s threat. Jun could afford comments like that; she was tall and slender, with fashionable nails and hair that changed style sometimes once a month. And no matter how absurd it looked at first glance, she always managed to pull it off.

Kazuko meanwhile was short and small. Her hips were narrow and boyish, and her chest was small enough for her to get away without a bra, if her t-shirt was loose enough. Jun was by no means well-endowed in the bust department, but she at least had a noticeable silhouette. Kazuko’s hair was her pride though; it curled around her face, the tips just brushing over her shoulders. It took her all of five minutes to style if she felt like it; sometimes she just left it, and was gifted with a natural elfin charm to it. Jun had never managed with any success to copy Kazuko’s hair.

"That skirt," Kazuko pointed out as she leaned on a clothing rack, "is ¥40,000. And you spent ¥20,000 on those boots, ¥5,000 on those butterfly earrings, and ¥600 on lunch. You only have ¥4,500 left." Despite the alleged 'Valentine's Day Sale' advertised in bold pink and red hearts across the store, Jun had been very annoyed to learn that the sale only applied to lacy and impractical underthings. ("I know for a fact you own something that ridiculous," Kazuko had stated, pointing at a bra frothing with ribbons. "That's different," Jun had sniffed. "It's _French._ ")

"…What are you, my accountant?" Jun growled, hanging the skirt back up roughly. "And have you heard from Masaki yet? She was supposed to meet us in here, right?"

"She probably got distracted by the pet store next door. They have puppies in the windows," Kazuko commented with a shrug.

Sure enough, as they exited the store, they found Masaki bent over in front of the glass, cooing at a small herd of pug puppies. Kazuko immediately found herself irritated; gathering behind Masaki were a few older guys, all staring openly at her backside with appreciation.

Kazuko couldn’t really blame them; Masaki was the tallest, with legs that went on forever and a torso that made her appear even longer. Her hair was bleached a lighter sandy brown that she frequently pushed back with one hand when nervous. Inexplicably, she had a full, perky bust that seemed to defy the laws of gravity as often as Masaki did. Masaki wasn’t quite as fashion-conscious as Jun, but she knew how to look good. Today, she had on grey wool tights, green shorts, and a brown tunic top that dropped low on her neckline. And for no reason that would make sense to anyone else, she was stomping around in steel-toed construction boots.

Jun was a contrast next to Masaki: her pale skin and perfectly-arranged dark hair gave her a slightly more mature look. This was added to by her glittery punk t-shirt (artfully ripped) and studded denim skirt, and the chunky bracelets on her fine wrists. Jun always, always wore heels.

Kazuko didn’t care half as much as the other two. Today she’d simply thrown on a pair of jeans, a snug-fitting red wife beater, and a black and white striped cardigan. The sleeves were too long, hanging around her small hands. She wore sneakers; Kazuko liked being able to run around if she felt like it.

"Jun-chan! He’s _eating the black one’s ear!_ " Masaki exclaimed gleefully as Jun approached. Kazuko frowned; when Jun joined Masaki at the window, the crowd of guys made a collective noise of interest.

"That’s… great, Masaki," Jun answered weakly, trying not to stare at Masaki’s cleavage. She shifted her weight, jutting out her hip, and one of the guys behind them hooted. Kazuko lost her patience.

She came up behind them, wrapping her arms possessively around Masaki’s waist. One hand came up to brush the hair away from Masaki’s ear, and Kazuko murmured with a smirk, "We’ve been waiting for you, Ma-chan. I was starting to worry someone had eaten you up."

She then looked over her shoulder at the crowd of guys and gave them her very best warning glare. Jun followed the glance and noticed the spectators for the first time; she straightened, flipped her hair over one shoulder, and cracked her knuckles.

The guys scattered.

"Ah," Masaki said suddenly. "I forgot. Yuki said she’s coming too! And she’s gonna pick up Tomoko on her way."

"Eh? I called Oh-chan, she didn’t answer," Kazuko said, pouting.

"Maybe she’s screening your calls," Jun suggested innocently. "Or maybe Yuki just knows how to talk to her."

Kazuko scowled. "So what, just because Yuki took time out from studying to call, Oh-chan jumps to see her? I don’t buy it."

"You just don’t want to think she doesn’t want to talk to you," Masaki commented brightly, and Kazuko fought the urge to kick her. It was stupid, but she did feel slightly hurt that it wasn’t her invitation Tomoko accepted.

"Talk to who?"

Masaki turned and squealed loudly, flinging herself bodily on the new arrivals.

"YUKI-CHAN!"

"Hi, Masaki," Yuki said patiently, patting her on the head. Yuki was shorter than Masaki and Jun both, but made up for it by being astonishingly curvy; Masaki had something of a fascination with Yuki’s breasts.

"Yuki-chan," Masaki said suddenly, her nose almost down Yuki’s shirt. "This is a new bra!"

Yuki batted Masaki off with a squeak, adjusting her shirt self-consciously. Kazuko took a moment to appreciate Yuki’s outfit; sensible khakis, a snug tank top and a bright red hoodie that she’d left unzipped. Whenever Yuki had college, she’d dress up in a smart suit, but immediately shed the clothing as soon as she got home, preferring a more casual look. Her hair, naturally a bit curly, was pulled back in a messy ponytail. Stray locks fell down to frame her round face, and Kazuko noted with approval the red-tinted gloss on her full lips.

Her gaze was pulled away from Yuki though by a small movement to her right; Tomoko was standing just behind her, smiling in her usual dazed fashion. Tomoko wore whatever her mother picked out for her; today, it was a soft-looking long sleeved t-shirt and jeans. Her hair, long less because she liked it that way and more because she was too lazy to cut it, was braided down her back. Tomoko was short, shorter than Kazuko, but her figure was slightly more full and soft. Kazuko had spent an embarrassingly long amount of time thinking about Tomoko’s slender, elegant hands and dark eyelashes resting on her round cheeks.

Tomoko was also Kazuko’s best friend.

Kazuko slid up behind Tomoko, wrapping her arms loosely around the smaller girl’s waist. Her chin dug into Tomoko’s shoulder as she spoke petulantly.

"Oh-chan," Kazuko whined. "You didn’t answer when I called earlier."

"Ah," Tomoko replied, not seeming to mind Kazuko hanging off her in the slightest. "Sorry, I was drawing."

"Drawing isn’t very loud," Kazuko pressed, a bit of hurt edging into her voice.

"I was listening to music, too," Tomoko explained. "My phone was on vibrate. Sorry."

"I forgive you," Kazuko said generously. "But only because you’re cute."

Tomoko smiled gently, and Kazuko melted. Sometimes she wondered exactly how much more obvious she could be about her feelings for Tomoko without Tomoko actually noticing; each time she was sure she was giving herself away, Tomoko continued to smile at her sweetly and miss the way Kazuko’s eyes lingered and hands wandered.

~

Two hours of karaoke later, Tomoko was leaning heavily against Kazuko’s shoulder, laughing as Masaki wiggled her hips in a particularly lewd motion in Yuki’s direction. Jun was picking the songs, and she’d taken no amount of delight in giving Masaki the most obnoxious, raunchy American pop songs she could find. Masaki seemed to take this as a challenge, and sang the accented English with great enthusiasm.

Yuki kept taking sips of her soda just before Masaki did something suggestive, and then choking. Kazuko’s hand was starting to get tired from repeatedly patting her on the back.

Tomoko sang a few ballads in her sweet voice, but for the most part she seemed happier to just watch Masaki make a fool of herself. Kazuko privately agreed, especially when Jun selected ‘Like a Virgin’ and Masaki dragged Jun and Yuki up to join her, all three belting out the lyrics in the most overblown and exaggerated fashion they could.

Kazuko longed wistfully for a video camera.

By the close of the third hour, the karaoke was brought to a close (partly because Tomoko and Kazuko had run out of money, and partly because Masaki’s voice had started to give out, giving her a low raspy quality that had Jun shifting in her seat uncomfortably and Yuki staring.)

"Are we getting dinner?" Jun asked.

"Are you treating?" Kazuko asked hopefully. Tomoko added her own puppy dog eyes in Jun’s direction.

"I have homework," Yuki said, shaking her head. "I really stayed longer than I should have."

"I’m broke," Masaki said sadly, patting her purse. "So if Jun _wants_ to treat…"

"I’ll see you leechers next week," Jun said with a sniff, pointedly not looking at Tomoko’s overly-dramatic crushed expression. Masaki immediately glued herself to Jun’s arm, and the two left arguing loudly about whether or not miso constituted an entire meal.

Kazuko looked at Tomoko and smiled.

"Can I follow you home?" She asked, grinning. Tomoko laughed, nodding and holding out her hand. Kazuko was only too happy to take it, and the two didn't let go through the entire train station, ride to Tomoko's, and even once arriving at Tomoko's house.

~

"Can I play with your hair?"

Tomoko looked at Kazuko, and Kazuko could see the hesitation in her eyes. It bothered her to think she was making Tomoko uncomfortable, but she couldn't help but ask. She loved Tomoko's hair; long and thick and soft, Kazuko spent hours just running her hands through it, combing the strands with her fingers, and scratching lightly at Tomoko's scalp. Every time she and Tomoko spent time together, Kazuko would ask. And every time, she would press close against Tomoko's back and pretend.

With Tomoko's hair loose and flowing through Kazuko's fingers, it was easy to imagine other intimacies between them. Her fantasies felt so much closer when Tomoko let her touch.

"Please," Kazuko asked softly, afraid Tomoko would refuse.

"…Okay," Tomoko said, turning around and leaning her head back against Kazuko's knees. Grinning, Kazuko immediately pulled out the tie in Tomoko's braid, running her fingers through the hair and loosening it.

"I love your hair," Kazuko breathed softly as she smoothed her hands down it.

Tomoko said nothing.

~

"Masaki said she saw you getting takoyaki the other day," Kazuko commented, helping Yuki with her french braid. While Yuki was immensely talented in pretty much every academic realm, simple things like hairstyling and flipping an omelet still evaded her.

"What?" Yuki said, looking up from the syllabus in her hands. "Oh, yeah. I was really hungry."

"She said you were with a _boy_ ," Kazuko prompted. Yuki stilled.

"Well. Yes," she admitted. "I guess I was."

"Who is he?" Kazuko demanded. "Did he pay for you? Are you seeing him again?"

Yuki caught Kazuko’s wrist in one hand, turning to face her. Her expression was mixed; she seemed annoyed, but resigned to the questioning. Kazuko chose not to acknowledge the understanding look underneath it all.

"He’s a classmate," Yuki said gently. "We’re doing a project together and we stopped to get something to eat. I paid for myself, and we’re not dating."

Kazuko nodded, silent.

"Kazu," Yuki said softly. "That was last year, okay? Nobody even remembers it now."

"I remember," Kazuko snapped. And she did; she remembered how broken up Yuki had been when the boy she’d trusted had told the entire class a large number of hurtful untruths about her. She remembered how Yuki had seemed so ashamed, so _betrayed_ for weeks as her classmates whispered about her. And Kazuko was the only one who knew how close Yuki had been to transferring universities over the whole mess.

"I know," Yuki said, her hand leaving Kazuko’s wrist and settling on her knee. "But not all boys are like that."

Kazuko didn’t answer. She couldn't think of anything to say that didn't involve asking if Yuki would be seeing him on the 14th.

~

Everybody knew something was up with Masaki and Jun. Or rather, everyone knew that Jun was trying very hard not to let anyone notice how closely she watched Masaki or how quickly she turned away when Masaki dragged her shopping for swimsuits. Jun’s attraction to Masaki was unspoken, but accepted in their group as just One Of Those Things. Masaki seemed more or less oblivious, and Kazuko at least had thought it would always be that way.

It didn’t.

"Masaki, you wanted to see that movie with Oguri Shun in it, right?" Kazuko said, her legs tossed across Masaki’s lap. She always took up more space than needed on the karaoke room couches. "Want to go on Saturday?"

"Um," Masaki said sheepishly, adjusting her grip on the mic. "I’m actually busy this weekend, sorry."

"What, got a date?" Kazuko snorted.

"Yep," Masaki answered brightly.

There was a pause; Yuki’s face lifted from the song book and Tomoko made a charming expression of surprise that distracted Kazuko momentarily.

"Oh," she said at last. "Well, fine. Jun, how about you? I hear Oguri wears tight jeans."

"I’m—busy too, sorry," Jun said. For an instant, her eyes darted to Masaki; she turned away, evasive.

Something in Kazuko’s stomach twisted uncomfortably.

"...Date?" she asked quietly. To her credit, Jun met Kazuko’s eyes when she nodded.

"Kazu—" Masaki began, but Kazuko lifted her legs from Masaki’s lap and stood up, stretching her arms above her head. She pulled an exaggeratedly annoyed face, careful to keep her voice light and teasing.

"Have fun finding deep and everlasting bonds," she said with a shrug, grinning over her shoulder at Jun. "All the more Oguri Ass for me then!"

Jun looked down at her lap, uncomfortable. For some reason, this irritated Kazuko; what did _Jun_ have to be twitchy about? She wasn’t the one turned down by two friends in a row in favor of each other; she wasn’t the one who hadn’t had a date in years; she wasn’t the one left behind when they found each other.

"I’m going to the bathroom," Kazuko said into the silence. The click of the door behind her seemed to echo; she could hear the muffled sounds of the other rooms as she walked down the hall.

She stood for what felt like a long time in front of the mirrors, just looking at her own face reflected back at her. Her eyes were dark and the crease in her forehead spoke of hurt; she rubbed at it impatiently with her fingertips.

"This is stupid," she muttered out loud. "I’m stupid."

"No you’re not," came Tomoko’s soft voice from the doorway. Kazuko met her eyes through the reflection, smiling weakly.

"Jun—must be thrilled," Kazuko continued, as though Tomoko hadn’t interrupted. "She’s been mooning for years."

Tomoko came to stand behind her, and Kazuko felt something in her break. She was so angry with herself. She _should_ be happy for them. She loved them; of course she should want them to be happy too.

"They’ll be cute together," she said, still smiling even as her eyes stung. "They’ll be great."

"Kazu-chan," Tomoko said softly, her hand settling on Kazuko’s back.

"They’ll—still call sometimes," Kazuko said. "Send emails. Maybe karaoke a few times a month. Together. Jun won’t really need to drag me shopping anymore because Masaki will go. And Masaki won’t need to wait for me to want to see a movie because Jun will go. But maybe they’ll invite me too, sometimes."

"I think you’re getting ahead of them," Tomoko admonished. "And underestimating them."

Kazuko didn’t answer, so Tomoko wrapped her arms around Kazuko’s waist and rested her head between the younger girl’s shoulders.

"Nobody’s forgetting you," she said. "Or leaving. Although Jun thinks you hate her now."

"Jun cares too much about what other people think of her," Kazuko said, but the criticism lacked bite.

"Jun cares too much about what _you_ think," Tomoko corrected. "Or maybe the right amount."

Kazuko turned, and Tomoko adjusted her hold until Kazuko could press her nose into the crook of Tomoko’s neck.

"You aren’t going to fall in love with Yuki-chan and leave me too, are you?" Kazuko said, sounding young and small.

"Nobody’s going to leave you," Tomoko repeated, and Kazuko couldn’t help but notice that it wasn’t really an answer to her entire question.

~

The next time Kazuko visited Tomoko, she asked almost immediately.

"Can I play with your hair?" she said, already reaching to drag her fingertips through the smooth ends of Tomoko’s ponytail. Tomoko pulled away, and Kazuko looked up to meet her eyes.

"I—not this time," Tomoko said evenly. Kazuko felt her chest tighten; she needed this. She needed Tomoko to let her pretend.

"Please," she said, letting her desperation edge into her voice. "Please, Oh-chan?"

Tomoko’s expression shuttered, but she pulled out her ponytail holder and sat down with her back to Kazuko. Kazuko grinned, settling behind her and pretending not to notice the rigid set of Tomoko’s shoulders.

~

The next time they all met up for karaoke, Kazuko tried not to linger on the way Masaki’s hand kept resting on Jun’s thigh, her thumb brushing lightly, absently, like she didn’t even know she was doing it. Jun didn’t seem to mind; she leaned her shoulder into Masaki’s and invited the touch with her body language far more openly than Kazuko had ever seen her do. She immediately pictured the two of them going out for a romantic evening together: hand in hand, they'd stop at some little café for coffee and tiny French desserts surrounded by other sappy couples celebrating the most sugary-sweet holiday of the entire year.

She sat next to Yuki and tried not to let her smile falter.

"Do they have that new YUI song yet?" she said, digging her chin into Yuki’s shoulder as the older girl scoured the song books.

"I know reading is hard for you," Yuki said in the most patronizing tone she could manage, "but I promise I’ll be right here to help you sound everything out."

Kazuko stuck her tongue out.

"I knew you didn’t age," Jun commented from the other couch, "but I didn’t suspect you’d actually start moving backwards on the scale of maturity."

Opening her mouth to retort, Kazuko was cut off when Masaki let out a sound of surprise, greeting Tomoko as the door opened. Automatically turning to beam at Tomoko, Kazuko felt the smile freeze on her face and the same tightness in her chest she’d felt so often lately turn into a sickeningly painful twist.

Tomoko’s hair was cut short, tight against her head in a clean pixie style.

"...You cut your hair?" Jun said softly, voicing what they were all thinking.

"Yeah," Tomoko said, not looking in Kazuko’s direction. "I wanted to."

"It’s cute," Yuki said. "It suits you!"

"I bet it’s easier for you too, huh?" Masaki said. "No more brushing for hours and hours."

 _No more brushing,_ Kazuko thought. _No more braiding or ponytails to tug or strands long enough to tangle my fingers in or silky pieces I can feel against my cheek when I lean close to you._

Tomoko had wanted to cut her hair. Not just short, but so short that Kazuko’s favorite game of playing with her hair was rendered utterly impossible. Kazuko would never again get to sit behind her and pretend they were anything more than they were.

Tomoko _wanted that._

Suddenly, Kazuko couldn’t seem to pull enough air into her lungs. The twist in her chest had grown into a knot in her stomach and she thought for a moment she was going to be sick. Then she decided she actually had just been punched in the ribs. Hard. Repeatedly.

She stood and stumbled to the door, almost tripping over Yuki’s foot in her hurry to escape. She heard Jun call after her and Masaki start to ask a question, but the sounds couldn’t filter through the rushing in her ears.

More than anything, Kazuko wanted to be alone.

She walked home; after the fourth call in a row from Yuki, she turned off her phone.

~

Normally, Kazuko got along fairly well with her older brother. Katsuo was only a few years older, and in general was far less of an ass that some older brothers could be. It wasn't always a smooth relationship, but Kazuko could trust Katsuo, and confiding in him was only slightly awkward.

That by no means meant she intended to talk to him about this.

"Move," she said the second she walked in the door. "I want to play Half-Life."

Katsuo looked up at her from the video game controller and raised an eyebrow. It was an expression both siblings had learned from their mother, but neither of them could convey quite the same mixture of incredulousness and threat that she could.

"Wait your turn," Katsuo said with a snort, turning his attention back to the game.

Kazuko bent down and shut the game off.

"Hey!" Katsuo barked. "What are you, five? I wasn't even at a save point!"

"I'm going to shoot things now," Kazuko said shortly, switching out the CDs. She pulled the controller from his hands and sat down, her jaw clenched tightly.

"...You know, it's probably not healthy to take out aggression with a first person shooter," Katsuo said after a moment, watching Kazuko's face with far too much perception.

"Better than jumping in front of a bus," Kazuko replied darkly, firing off a round of shots without once looking away from the screen.

"Kazu," Katsuo said quietly. "What the hell."

"Leave me alone," she muttered back. "It's hard to kill things with you watching."

Katsuo opened his mouth to retort, but was cut off by his mobile ringtone. He glanced at the caller ID, frowned, and then answered.

"Hi," he said, glancing sideways at Kazuko. "...Yeah. I wouldn't say it quite like that, but close enough. Huh. Well, that explains it I guess. No, it's fine. I'll—just don't worry, okay? Right. Bye."

"Your charming flavor-of-the-month?" Kazuko spat bitterly.

"I wish," Katsuo sighed. "It was Yuki-chan."

Katsuo had been nursing a crush on Yuki for four years, give or take six months. He had actually talked her into a date with him at one point, but she'd told him that despite the good time, it was far too much like dating Kazuko with a penis.

Kazuko and Masaki had laughed themselves sick over the entire affair.

"Lovely," Kazuko said. "She probably wants to go on a movie date with you on Valentine's and come back practically newlyweds. Then you can adopt Tomoko and live in a commune with Jun and Masaki and it will all be fantastic and happy and the most wonderful thing that ever happened to all of you."

"She called because she said you'd turned off your phone," Katsuo accused.

"How astute," Kazuko replied, killing a combine with a grenade and more force than was strictly necessary.

"She's really pissed off at you," Katsuo added.

" _Me?!_ She's pissed at _me?!_ I'm not the one who screwed everything up."

"Apparently," Katsuo said blandly, "you made Tomoko-chan cry."

Ouch. That had not been Kazuko's intention, despite her overwhelming levels of raging hurt.

A head-crab came out of a duct and killed her; she didn't bother hitting the button to restart. Instead, the controller sat in her hands as she stared down at her lap, fighting with the urges to scream, cry, and punt a puppy down the block.

"Kazuko-san," Katsuo said, "is there something you would like to share with the class?"

"...No," Kazuko said softly.

"Well, tough," Katsuo answered, cuffing her lightly across the back of the head.

"...Remember how you said you didn't know how they put up with me?" Kazuko said, her tone flat. "Well, they aren't going to anymore."

"Meaning?"

"Tomoko cut her hair," Kazuko said. "Short. Really short. And it's really cute."

"Sense," Katsuo drawled. "Please to be making it."

"I can't play with it anymore. She cut it short and now there's no reason for me to touch her," Kazuko admitted softly.

"Since when do you, of all people, need a reason to molest Tomoko-chan?" Katsuo pointed out. "You'd carry her around in your purse with you if you thought you could get away with it."

"That's different," Kazuko said, suddenly noticing how weak her argument was. "She cut her hair. Obviously she doesn't want me touching her at all."

"There's this thing people do," Katsuo said patiently. "It's called _talking._ I recommend it. Now give me back the playstation and go tell Tomoko-chan you have a great big lesbian crush on her and that you want to suck face."

"...I hate you," Kazuko said, throwing a couch cushion at Katsuo's face.

But she gave him back the controller.

~

Kazuko successfully avoided Tomoko for two days. It was harder than she'd thought; her life revolved pretty firmly around her friends, and ignoring one meant ignoring them all. Not to mention that Yuki called every two hours and sent a text every three, intermixed with Jun's scolding voicemails and Masaki's concerned emails.

Tomoko didn't make any attempt to contact her, and that simple fact stung more than she was entirely comfortable admitting.

At the same time, Kazuko had at least come to acknowledge that the way things were between them now couldn't stay. She missed Tomoko's company and soothing presence with a fierce ache that left her breathless at times. Tomoko's hairstyle had little to do with how strong Kazuko's feelings were; the only difference was that she no longer had a "safe" way to express them. As Valentine's Day loomed, she made her decision (privately kicking herself for falling into the capitalist trap that was The Most Ridiculous Holiday Ever.)

Kazuko showed up on Tomoko's doorstep just before lunch. Clutched in her hands was a very special bouquet of paintbrushes tied together a bit haphazardly with a blue ribbon, and she couldn't help but begin to doubt the merit of the gift. It looked kind of stupid, suddenly.

She chewed her lip, shifting from foot to foot as she rang the doorbell and waited.

Tomoko pulled the door open only moments later; for a second, Kazuko went entirely blank. Then Tomoko cleared her throat a bit awkwardly, and Kazuko remembered what she was here to do.

"Oh-chan," she said firmly. "I need to talk to you."

"...Okay," Tomoko agreed.

Kazuko had already gathered up her reasons, prepared to have to convince Tomoko to listen to her, and was momentarily thrown off by her easy compliance. Regaining her composure, she continued.

"I wanted to tell you..." she began, only to feel the words catching in her throat. She swallowed and tried again. "I just wanted to say... that... um."

Tomoko waited patiently for Kazuko to make her point. Or at least stumble into one.

"...Your hair is really cute," Kazuko said at last, wilting. It was true, but not actually why she had actually made an effort to dress nicely and put on a little makeup. She'd even managed to use eyeliner without stabbing herself in the eyeball.

"...Thanks," Tomoko said, and something in her tone sounded so disappointed that Kazuko was suddenly struck with the thought that maybe Tomoko was waiting to hear something else entirely.

"I, um. Brought you something," She said quickly, pushing the paintbrush-bouquet into Tomoko's hands. "It's kind of lame, but the flowers were _really_ expensive and—I mean, not that you're not worth expensive flowers or anything, it's just that I bought that puzzle fighter game last week and my mom wouldn't give me an advance on my allowance—"

"Thank you," Tomoko interrupted, her face lighting up. "I love them."

"You do?" Kazuko said. "Oh. Well. That's good."

"...What are they for?"

"...Well. They're for you."

"No, I mean—why?"

"...Because," Kazuko said, twisting her hands in the denim skirt that Jun had forced her to buy last year. "Because it's Valentine's."

"And?" Tomoko asked, her lip pouting just so.

"And I like you," Kazuko said. "I like you, Oh-chan."

"...Even with short hair?" Tomoko said softly, her fingers tightening on the brushes.

"Of course," Kazuko said, confusion darting across her face. "Why wouldn't I—oh."

Tomoko looked up, hesitant and hopeful, and Kazuko suddenly had a perfectly reasonable explanation for Tomoko's haircut that most certainly didn't mean Tomoko didn't want Kazuko touching her.

"Yuki-chan said that if I wanted to be sure—that you liked me, not just playing with my hair, I mean—that I should do something with it so you couldn't anymore. And that then I would know, because if you liked me it wouldn't matter," Tomoko explained all in one breath. "You... do, right?"

Kazuko opened her mouth to reply, but shut it again, shrugging. She'd come this far, after all.

Stepping forward, Kazuko closed the distance between them and pressed her lips to Tomoko's. Her hands came up to rest on Tomoko's waist, and without evening meaning to she sighed against the smaller girl's mouth.

To her delight, Tomoko put an arm around her neck and pulled her in closer, returning the kiss with so much sweetness, Kazuko decided she could never eat candy again and enjoy it; nothing would ever live up to Tomoko.

Breaking apart, Kazuko sucked in a breath. It was then that she saw Yuki leaning casually against the doorframe behind Tomoko.

She was smiling.

"Are you two done being ridiculous now?" Yuki asked with a grin.

"Yes, mother," Kazuko replied, her smirk downright impish. "We kissed and made up."

"I think we should kiss more," said Tomoko seriously. "Just in case."

"I'm going to call Jun and Masaki and tell them to knock before they come in," Yuki snorted, walking back into the house.

Alone once again, Kazuko chewed her lip. She wasn't nervous, exactly, just... unsure.

"Oh-chan?" she asked softly, curling her fingers around Tomoko's elbow.

"Hmm?" Tomoko answered, leaning into the touch.

"Happy Valentine's," Kazuko said, before Tomoko's lips brushed against hers.


End file.
